The Brand-New Car

by Ellane Chandler

Once long, long ago, Megaera and two friends set out on a camping trip deep into the woods. Meg, as everyone called her, had been friends with Emmaline and Dale since high school. Lately, she had been liking Dale in a new way, attracted to him in that new way. She suspected and hoped he might be feeling the same. Now, as much as she loved Emmaline, she had not wanted anyone else to come on this trip. She wanted Dale all to herself. But along came Emmaline anyway.

On the way, Dale was driving, and Emmaline was in the front seat next to Dale. Meg was in the back seat next to a pile of gear. She could barely hear the conversation up front over the rumbling of the road and motor, and tried to lean up and join in. But every time she did, they would include her for just a moment and then stop talking. Then they would start talking again, Meg would scoot up and try to join, they would talk to her a little bit, and then stop. This went on and on for miles and miles. Finally Meg got tired of it and just stayed settled in the back seat. After a while she noticed that as Dale and Emmaline continued to talk, they were looking at each other a certain way. A certain way.

And this went on, as they found a site, unloaded the car, set up the tents, and started a fire. Meg was feeling more and more like a misfit. And there were only two tents. She had brought her own; she thought everybody had their own tent. But there it was – three people, two tents.

Okay, she would share hers with Emmaline.

But Emmaline did not come into the tent that night and sleep on the pad Meg set up for her.

In the morning, after a hellish night of little sleep, Meg scooted out of her tent and sat by the ashes. She was thinking of starting a fire so that she could make some badly-needed coffee when Emmaline scooted out of the other tent. Emmaline, with her wild dark hair and grace. Her dark hair was looking especially wild. Emmaline smiled and stretched, groaning and sighing with sensual pleasure. Out came Dale. Who didn’t greet Meg but staggered out rubbing his face, then turning to Emmaline, asking would she like some coffee.

That’s when Meg knew.

That’s when Meg lost it.

A volcano of pent-up frustration, longing, and rage exploded out of Meg’s throat. “FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU BOTH!!! FUCK YOU BOTH ALL THE WAY OFF!!!” She screamed “I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT – I AM SO FUCKING OUT OF HERE!!!!!”

She grabbed her pack, stuffed some things into it, and grabbed a blanket, as Dale and Emmaline looked on in shock. They looked at each other in shock. They looked at Meg astounded as she shouted they could have her goddam tent and sleeping bags in case they ever wanted to torture anybody else on future camping trips and that she would hike back to the trailhead and hitch a ride back home she’d call somebody and meanwhile they could both go straight to hell. The words spewed like lava, while Dale and Emmaline’s words were swept aside like twigs.

Megaera stormed off.

She had forgotten how far in they had driven to get to the site. She heard them coming after her in the car. She took off down a side trail. Her fury kept her marching on as their voices calling her grew fainter and fainter. Her fury kept her hiking along this trail and that, as her crazy thoughts careened this way and that, as her rage burned, as she became rabid with it.

She didn’t care if she got lost. She didn’t care if she ran out of the trail mix and water she had brought, that was rattling and sloshing in her backpack as her feet pounded the path. She didn’t care if she fell. Or got hurt. Or died.

She was sick of her life anyway. She was sick of losing, of not being enough of anything, of having to be her and not Emmaline. She was fed up with always trying and reaching out and getting shoved away or worse yet, ignored. She was totally over and done with not belonging anywhere, not even with her now former best friends. She was completely and totally done, period.

She was also completely and totally exhausted.

As she sat down on a log, a weird calm settled on her as she wrapped her blanket around her. She had absolutely no idea where she was. And she absolutely didn’t care. She would just stay on the log, come what may.

Night fell. Megaera hadn’t moved, or touched any food or water.

The moon came out. Megaera watched the moon travel across the treetops. She watched their shadows shift. She heard them whisper.

“I’m Baby-Doe.”

Megaera snapped awake. All around was now dark – the moon had gone behind clouds. She pulled her blanket around her tightly. Her skin was tingling.

“I’m Baby-Doe.”

Now Megaera knew she was wide awake, that this wasn’t a dream, and that it was quite possible she had gone completely mad. So when the doe seemed to materialize in front of her, she was like Huh! A deer. That talks. Wow.

“What’s your name?” asked the doe.

“Megaera. My friends call me – well – um –“

“Hello Megaera. Such a beautiful name. Do you need help?”

Well duh, thought Megaera.

Baby-Doe said, “Why don’t you have some of your water.”

Megaera suddenly felt how parched she was, pulled out her water bottle, and guzzled about half a liter of it. She wiped her mouth and said, “Hey, you want some?”

Baby-Doe said, “No, I’m fine, but thank you. Now, can you stand?”

Megaera got to her feet. Her legs felt stiff and she wobbled a little. But then she steadied herself.

Baby-Doe said, “Good. Now, try walking. Come this way.”

Megaera took a step, then another. On the third step, her legs felt strong again, and her feet no longer hurt.

Baby-Doe said, “Nice. Now, come with me.” And she turned and walked away from Megaera. As she did so, she began to glow ever so slightly.

They came to a clearing, and Baby-Doe told Megaera to sit on the ground. She settled on the ground in front of her. Then she said, “I want to tell you something, and then I’ll help you get out of here.”

She continued, “This is where I was born, and left to die. Right over there in those bushes is where my mother birthed me and my sister. My mother was very young, my sister was very strong and healthy, and I was puny and weak. One day my mother went away and my sister followed her, but I couldn’t because I couldn’t walk very well. They never came back. I didn’t know what happened to them.”

God, thought Megaera, that absolutely sucks.

Baby-Doe went on. “Like you, I was completely alone, without much to keep me alive. I stayed curled up in the leaves, sleeping, waking, sleeping. At first, I cried and bleated. But no answer. After a while, I was too weak to do even that. I just wanted to sleep, and finally, I just wanted to sleep and never, ever wake up.”

“So when the bear came, I didn’t care if he swallowed me whole. I saw his snout, which was snuffling all over me, and just closed my eyes. I was so beyond feeling anything that I figured it wouldn’t even hurt if he bit me in two. When he picked me up in his teeth, I lost consciousness. When I came to in front of the cougar, I didn’t care. The cougar was very sick with a disease that made his mouth foam. The bear told the cougar to swallow me – that would make him well. But it would also change him forever – he would be free of the disease, but things would no longer be as he knew them to be. The cougar hissed and his eyes rolled. The bear told me that if the cougar didn’t swallow me, I would die anyway. Then he asked a very strange question – what do you really want to be? And even though I was still just a baby, I knew I wanted to be a strong deer just like my sister so that I could go find my mother and make her love me. The bear then asked the cougar, are you ready for the magic? The cougar said he was ready. The bear said take her then.”

Holy shit, thought Megaera.

“Oh I know what you’re thinking,” said Baby-Doe. “But it really didn’t hurt, and I wasn’t really scared. It just got very dark. And then I woke up. And I was strong. And I was smart. And I was brave. The cougar became me. I became the cougar. I was able to track down my mother. But instead of killing her, I told her I was fine, that I wished her well, but if she wanted me back, she would have to find me. And I ran far away, through forest after forest after forest, until I came back to this one where I was born. I know she can find me if she wants to look for me. But meanwhile, I love my magic, that I can bring justice, I can show mercy, and I can heal. I was puny and weak, my own mother didn’t want me, but the bear knew I carried magic, and so did the cougar. And now, here we are.”

Megaera asked, “Did your mother or sister ever come look for you?”

Baby-Doe replied, “Nah, not yet. If they do, they do. It’s all up to them. But I can stand on my own four feet. Meanwhile, let’s see about your feet. How’d you like to get out of here? Hungry?”

Megaera suddenly realized she was starving. She reached into her bag for the trail mix.

“Ah,” said Baby-Doe, “You’ve got some self-reliance there. Good for you! But it’s time for you to go home.” Then she struck a stone with her hoof three times. After a moment, footsteps crunched through the leaves, and a big, burly man appeared at the edge of the clearing.

Holy shit, thought Megaera, I’ve lost my fucking mind and now I’m going to get raped. In front of this deer.

“Hey, I’m Bear,” said the man. “I see you’ve met Baby-Doe. Hey, I am not going to hurt you.”

They all say that, thought Megaera, as she scrambled to her feet, but then nearly fainted. Bear took her hand. Instantly, Megaera felt safe.

“Help her sit, there you go,” said Baby-Doe. “Listen, he’s the best tracker around here, and I know every inch of these woods. He can find anything, and I know when something is amiss and must be attended to. I saw what happened back there at the campsite. Believe me, I could understand your rage. We both watched you run away, and we followed.”

“Yeah, I was on trail maintenance duty when Baby-Doe showed up and told me what was going on,” said Bear. “So we kept an eye on you. Baby-D did most of the running, but we both kept tabs on things, and now here we are.”

Megaera started to cry. She said, “Everything is just so fucked up. I hate my life. I sure as fucking hell hate my shithead friends. And you know what, I HATE WHO I AM!!!”

“Wow,” said Bear.

“We hear you,” said Baby-Doe. “And we see you. And you know what, we see your magic.”

“Let’s walk,” said Bear.

“I DON’T HAVE NO GODDAM MAGIC!!!” shrieked Megaera. And as soon as those words were out of her mouth, she heard music.

Tom Petty was out there, singing to her, about Mary’s brand-new car.

Okay, thought Megaera, I’ve completely flipped out. Talking deer, some guy says he and talking deer are buddies and they’ve been following me, and now Tom Petty’s singing to me. Okay, whatever.

Baby-Doe and Bear exchanged glances and smiled.

“I beg to differ,” said Bear. “You’ll see. Now, let’s get you out of here. Baby-D, I’ve got this. Thanks, and take it easy now, okay? Stay safe!”

“Oh, you know I will,” said Baby-Doe. She turned to Megaera. “At the end of the day, you do have it. You’ll see.” Then she turned again, and with the slightest crinkling of leaves, glided into the woods and vanished. At the same moment, Bear took Megaera’s hand and said, “C’mon.” And as her fear vanished just as surely as Baby Doe disappeared into the woods, Megaera calmly allowed Bear to lead her to the truck.

The truck was parked several hundred yards away on an old logging road. And from the truck, the words becoming louder and clearer as they approached, was that song that Megaera hadn’t heard in so long, one she had fallen in love with years earlier, because to her it was all about freedom, wind in her hair, something beckoning …

Next thing Megaera knew, she and Bear were both singing together at the top of their voices and howling with laughter, as the truck rumbled down the road with them belting out the song through its open windows.

When they arrived at the ranger station, Megaera had never felt happier in her life. Bear took her to a nearby cabin that wasn’t being used. It was stocked with plenty of food and water, and there was a bed piled with the softest of blankets. Megaera just sat down at a table, now more exhausted than before, empty of thought, even of all emotion except another weird calm. Bear showed her where she could plug in her phone and use a hotspot, punched in his number, and said to call him in the morning. He said he would take her home in the morning, but to be sure to listen to the song one more time tonight before doing anything else, and the magic would come.

“No arguments, okay?” Bear said, and winked. “Okay, good night.” And he left.

Megaera was famished and completely done in. She found some ready-made sandwiches and Snapples in the refrigerator, and some potato chips in a cupboard. For the next half-hour all she could do was gorge on the food and gulp down two Kiwi Strawberry Snapples and stare off into space. Then she opened iTunes and found the song. And felt herself drop into and be whisked away by the words …

Suddenly, Megaera jumped to her feet, nearly knocking her chair over. She grabbed her pack and dug into it, finding her wallet. Her credit card was there – yes! Cash too. She remembered the card had enough credit for a plane ticket. Oh hell yes!!

Megaera’s phone bleeped, and she picked it up. There were dozens of texts from Dale and Emmaline, each more frantic than the last. Megaera yawned as she scrolled through them all, and when she got to the last one, she replied “I’m fine” and then put the phone back down on the table.

A year passed.

One morning, thousands of miles across the country, Megaera picked up her phone to check a new text. This was from a new friend. (She had been making a lot of new friends.) “OMG – I just read your new story its amazing! Mary, your shit just gets better and better. U R truly magical.”

Megaera had changed her name to Mary when she landed in the city she had chosen. She had pretty much changed the name on the flight across the country. And now, here she was. Not in a forest of course, but in a terrifying, thrilling, and exquisitely beautiful wilderness of a new life, loving every single scary and gorgeous moment of it, as she began exploring this new magic of hers as a writer and performing artist. Actually, she would learn it was old magic that had been with her all along. She just hadn’t realized it, feeling lost in Emmaline’s lovely shadow, aching for Dale, and suffocating under the expectations and whims of too many others. But it had always been there, waiting, and it was definitely alive and well now.

And it would go right on flourishing, as Mary took off on new adventures in her brand-new car, for miles and miles and miles, the music cranked way up, her voice soaring, hair whipping in the wind. As if the car would never stop, and the highways would stretch on forever …